| 023 |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|04:19 pm] |
( Private )
I would wish for guidance, but my savior is neither here nor there. Hence, all I can do is sit there and think. And ponder. And speculate. What could have been...?
... And what can still be... |
|
|
| 022 |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|02:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  guilty | ] |
( Private )
Despite everything, it's rather nice, having a place to live in a real environment. Getting to go outside and enjoy the fresh air whenever I want...
Considering the average life of a half-elf, I must actually be pretty lucky... I only wish I could think of more situations so optimistically.
::sigh:: |
|
|
| 021 |
[Mar. 13th, 2006|01:01 am] |
|
Forgive me, Martel, for I have sinned. |
|
|
| 020 |
[Mar. 11th, 2006|06:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
...
Damn you. |
|
|
| 019 |
[Mar. 9th, 2006|10:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
I wouldn't say I'm trying to "wean" myself away from Derris-Kharlan, but I have been splitting my days up, spending one there and one on the home planet, in a special area of mine. Maybe I was just surrounded by too many people to truly enjoy it when I still lived there, but... a good environment alone a home does not make. Things are a little different now. It feels... calming to be there again. I almost feel alive when I'm sitting on the grass and breathing in the breeze. If I do relocate, I'm certain that my new home is already determined. But the 'if' is still present. It's still completely hypothetical.
I just wish I could enjoy it completely. But I don't think there's a way that's going to make all of me happy. I'm sure he wishes he could enjoy it as well...
( Private ) |
|
|
| 018 |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|04:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
It has felt... even more empty than usual here lately. I am not particularly fond of this. Nothing here on Derris-Kharlan seems to be a worthy recipient of my conversation topics. But I refuse to believe I've merely become some big fish in a little pond.
Is it truly a group-effort conspiring to be rid of me once and for all? They are all so... ignorant if that is truly the case.
Still, it seems I must forfeit my consciousness to have an audience at all. For the time being, anyway.
....
If I had truly failed Martel, I would... never, ever forgive myself. Am I a little late, or am I merely paranoid? |
|
|
| 015 |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|03:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
( Private )
My face feels weird. I think I smiled just a little too much last night... |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mythic_devil's journal
curious
thoughtful